Toffee Pumpkin Roll – Muchos Yumsville – Happy Thanksgiving

Tis the season, and by popular request (my niece), I’ll be making this bad-boy again this year!  Check out the somewhat whimsical directions for a holiday giggle.

Cake:

  • 3/4 cup cake flour
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
  • 1 1/4 teaspoons ground ginger
  • 3/4 teaspoon ground allspice
  • 6 large eggs, separated
  • 1/3 cup granulated sugar
  • 1/3 cup golden brown sugar, packed
  • 2/3 cup canned pumpkin (1/2 15 oz tin)
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • Powdered sugar

Filling:

  • 2 tablespoons spiced rum
  • 1 cup whipping cream, chilled
  • 3 tablespoons powdered sugar
  • 6 tablespoons plus 1/2 cup soft toffee pieces for garnish
  • Additional powdered sugar, for garnish
  • Caramel sauce, warmed, and drizzled for garnish

Directions:

Preheat your oven to 375 F. It’s a cake.  Make sure you have permission to handle hot things before you start.

Line a 15 by 10 by 1-inch baking sheet with parchment paper. Not the kind you write with, the kind you buy in the supermarket. Spray the parchment with nonstick cooking spray. Lots of it.

Sift your flour, cinnamon, ginger, and allspice into a bowl. I used one of those old fashioned spirally sifters and it worked well for me.

In a separate bowl, beat the egg yolks, granulated sugar, and brown sugar for about a minute. Add the Pumpkin (just less than half a 15 oz tin) to the egg mixture and continue beating till incorporated.   Still using your whisk, add the dry ingredients slowly (so the dry stuff doesn’t go airborne) and beat for another minute.

Get a fresh bowl and beat your egg whites and salt until you have fluffy marshmallow clouds (do not lick the spoon if you value your sanity.) Fold egg whites into the batter.  This part is very therapeutic but resist the urge to do it all afternoon. Less is more with folding. Do it till the whites almost disappear but no more.

Spread your nummy batter onto a baking sheet and level the goop out.

Time at last to put your nummy goop into the oven and bake.  My oven gets excited and will do naughty things to the batter in 15 minutes but your magic might need 18.  Do the toothpick thingy. Come on, if you can do all of the above you can do the toothpick thingy.

Before it cools, apply a thick dose of powdered sugar. Use a lot, imagine your asphalt disappearing under the snow. Put a (for God’s sake) clean kitchen towel on top then flip this bad boy upside down.At the narrow end, fold about three inches of kitchen towel over the end and ever so carefully roll the cake. It can break here, so be super careful.  YouTube is a wonderful place to look for videos if you want a pumpkin roll rolling demo.  Chill for around an hour (the cake, not you) with the ugly seam at the bottom.

AND THEN:

Wash your whisk and start beating the whipping cream and powdered sugar until you get soft peaks.  It’s quite a shock for the cream so to calm it down, add a couple of tablespoons of rum. A little flavoring goes a long way with cream  so resist the urge to throw in the entire bottle. Fold in 6 tablespoons soft toffee pieces.

AND THEN:

Take your super chilled cake from the fridge. Smear your creamy goop all over and re-roll carefully, seam-side down.  Trim the ugly bits off the end with a bread knife as you don’t want to squish your masterpiece at this stage.  Get overly excited with the powdered sugar again.

My husband brought some lovely caramel sauce (the kind you drizzle over ice-cream.) We zapped it in the microwave, just long enough to soften it, but not so long it turned to liquid, then he did the nice artistic drizzly pattern shown above. Good man. He can have a piece of cake.

Last, but not least, we sprinkled with the extra toffee.  Soooo Goood.

Use a cream cheese frosting if you prefer but I find it’s best to omit the toffee and caramel with cheese or it all gets super icky.  Your stomach. Your call.

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE on a plate.

Thanks for reading! Iris 🙂

Link

Final Beryllium ChaliceIt’s here! My new cover for The Beryllium Chalice is finally launched. To mark the occasion, it is launching at 30% off the listed price.  If you love Greek-based fantasy, come and get it now as this offer won’t last! The sale is offered exclusively at Musa Publishing.30-off-rt-red

For now, here’s a free excerpt!

Perhaps he left for only a few seconds, but to Flora, blind and naked in a strange place, it felt like an eternity. She stood vulnerable and trembling, and felt more fear than she’d ever known before. Her empty stomach roared for attention, and if she did not eat soon, she would faint. She had need of Dero’s courage, and she turned the ring still on her finger. A warm sensation crept through her tired limbs and her hunger faded at once, but not even Dero’s magic was enough to erase her fear of pain. What will he do to me? What form will the sacrifice take? How much will I suffer?

She did not have to wonder long for the mage soon returned.

“Come,” Maljandra said. He took her hand and led her forward. Slowly, they walked down a couple of steps and then water rose over her foot. As they descended the steps, the water rose up her legs and she realized they were in a pool. This must be his bathing chamber. The water was warm and soothed her blood-stained skin. Nevertheless she advanced cautiously, and her legs locked, afraid she might slip and fall. As he brushed by her, Flora felt the wizard’s bare skin and knew he’d undressed to bathe her.

The slightly rough surface of a sponge rubbed across her body as the mage wiped away the stench of stale blood and the dungeon. He washed her slowly and carefully, and left no part of her body untouched. She trembled with every stroke, and she sensed her fear pleased him. As his hands washed her hair, he was close up against her, and Flora felt both his desire and frustration.

“Do you always do as you’re told?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Ragnold is your master, is he not? You are in his service and do his dirty work.” She put her hand on his bare chest. “Set me free and I could reward you. Return my sight to me and help me escape.”

Maljandra’s hand cupped her right breast and he caressed it gently. “You want me to set you free?” he whispered in her ear.

“Yes, I beg you, let me go.”

He squeezed, but the pain she felt in her breast was nothing to the pain she felt throughout her body. It twisted within her, eating into every part of her, leaving nothing unscathed by its sharp teeth. A scream tore from her, leaving her throat raw, followed by another. She screamed more than she’d ever done before.

“And who would free me from the wrath of Hades?” he asked. His breath was hot against her ear. “You think me as weak as any mortal man? Do you think the temptation of a little dryad would easily turn me? Know this, foolish woman. You’ll remain blind till I take you to the temple. I’ll restore your sight long enough for you to see Ragnold’s gauntlet rip out your heart.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Patti2Iris Woodbury writes fantasy and children’s literature. It all started when, for her sister’s sanity, she was asked to calm down two naughty nieces who were fighting in the back of the car, Iris created a story: ‘Pixies in the Hedgerow.’ She told them about the tiny people who lived beneath the hedges, and how they had great adventures, and would do anything to keep their world secret from the Big Folk. From Bexley to Hastings, the two children were glued to the window, watching for the tiny pixies Iris promised were hiding in the shrubs. After that the two girls couldn’t get enough of their mad aunt’s stories, and Iris has been making up tales ever since. Her preferred genres are fantasy and children’s literature, though Iris has a special place in her heart for short stories.  She has four stories available for download with http://www.alfiedog.com which is one of the biggest short story download sites in the world and a novel with Musa Publishing, LLC.

She also writes pretty much anything that comes into her head on her blog, https://iriswoodbury.wordpress.com/

You can reach Iris at IrisWoodbury@yahoo.com.

Connect with Iris on social media. She always follows back.

https://www.facebook.com/IrisWoodburyAuthor

@IrisWoodbury

Recent publications by Iris Woodbury:

Final Beryllium Chalice

 If you buy it, I hope you enjoy reading it!

Thanks, and best wishes – Iris Woodbury!

Thrice Upon A Time – by Alfie Dog Fiction

Thrice PaperbackThe following is a press release by Alfie Dog Fiction:

Local author Iris Woodbury has had her story Rumplestiltskin’s Secret selected for inclusion in the fairytale collection ‘Thrice Upon A Time’ from publisher Alfie Dog Fiction. The collection brings together some of the best fairytales from 18 authors across the globe.

Iris. who lives in Parkton, MD says the beauty of Northern Baltimore County helped inspire her to write whimsical children’s stories. She has four stories available for download with http://www.alfiedog.com which is one of the biggest short story download sites in the world.

With authors selected from America, Australia, France, The Canary Islands and the United Kingdom it truly is an international collection. ‘Thrice Upon A Time’ has some tales which retell stories written long ago, but from a different perspective, and others which are completely new. “Fairytales became popular again with the 200th anniversary of the brothers Grimm,” says Alfie Dog Fiction’s managing director, Rosemary Kind. “Our authors have set out to provide a continuation of this grand tradition.” The humor of the fairytales is aimed at adults and, as with the originals, the stories often have a moral to them.

Iris has been writing for about four years now.  “I was delighted when I got the nod from Alfie Dog. The original Rumpelstiltskin story was always a favorite of mine as a kid and it was fun giving it a 21st Century makeover.  Rosemary Kind is an avid supporter of new and established artists and it was an honor to be allowed to contribute to this truly wonderful collection.” Iris’s Greek fantasy novel, The Beryllium Chalice, published by Musa, is now also  available on Amazon.

Alfie Dog Fiction specializes in publishing short stories for download as well as in book form, and has over 1,500 stories on its website http://www.alfiedog.com, in multiple formats to suit most readers.

The collection will be available as download and in paperback from 21st August with the download priced from just $2.99 and can be bought direct through http://www.alfiedog.com or through Amazon and other leading online retailers and bookstores.

 

CALL TO ALL FIGHTERS OF THE FLAB – A SIMPLE MORNING SHAKE RECIPE #asmsg

Like just about every other woman (and some men) on the planet, I have to watch my weight. Usually that means watching it go up. Every now and then that scale pointer tips a little too far to the right, so I put on my battle armor – and march into the kitchen, prepared to do something about it.

This morning I wasn’t in the mood to cook – so I thought I’d resort to the 21st Century breakfast staple, the protein shake. Everyone has their preference; mine is for the chocolate flavored HMR 120 shake, for no other reason than it tastes pretty good.

Here’s a free advertisement for you, HMR. Enjoy!

61nv3vsdG0L__SY355_Any road, what I wanted to share was a very simple trick that takes these, and possibly all other shakes from good, to bloody amazing. First time I messed with this, I substituted the recommended 6oz of water with chocolate almond milk. It increased the calorie intake, but for the yummy double chocolatey goodness that it created – I say EAT THOSE CALORIES. Anything that takes a drink off the healthy list and onto the HEALTHY AND MUST HAVE list is a winner in my book. Then this morning, and the reason behind this morning’s blog entry – was that I made a new substitution.

product_product-large_califia_farms_cafe_latte_with_almond_milk_320_jpgCome to Momma! Yes, it was THAT good. I don’t know if the brand made a difference, but iced coffee and protein shake… GET IN MAH BELLEH!

If you’re thinking I’m selling this stuff, I totally am not. There are plenty of charlatans out there who swear something is great when it’s just so-so or totally meh! But to my fellow sisters and brothers in arms who fight the same fight – to you I say – try it. If you love the taste of chocolate/ chocolate and coffee – you will love this. It’s probably just sitting in your pantry anyway, waiting to be combined. And it just might help you fight the fight!

Enjoy! Iris!

Cover Reveal – The Beryllium Chalice by Iris Woodbury

It is with great pleasure I give you the cover for my new book, The Beryllium Chalice, scheduled for release with Musa Publishing on 2/28/14.  A round of applause is needed for artist Kelly Shorten, if you please.

Beryllium Chalice

My fantasy story is set in Greece and starts on the face of Mount Olympus. The book tells the adventures of Flora, a wood dryad accused of the murder of her husband, a son of Hades.

If you love Greek monsters, and love tales like Clash of the Titans, then this is the book for you! Its an emotional and action packed roller-coaster, that I hope will have you gripping your seat from start to finish.

Links to the book will follow as soon as the story goes live. Keep watching – it’s coming soon!

Love, Iris!

Mission Accomplished – Alfie Dog Fiction # Sept AND #asmsg

I’m taking my first step from e-publishing into print. Its a teeny tiny baby step – but a step nonetheless. Alfie Dog Fiction are including one of my children’s stories in a collection aimed for the Christmas market.

Amusingly enough its called – Mission Accomplished!

It will be available both as an e-book and in paperback. I was super psyched when they asked me to be in it; at last I’m going to be able to put one of my stories on the bookshelf. How cool is that! Release dates etc. to follow.

Regards, Iris

Read It Again

Rumplestiltskin’s Secret #AMSG Alfie Dog Fiction Only 49p!!

Rumplestiltskin’s Secret

In the midst of famine, a strange little man offers Queen Beitiris a magical choice. ‘Sacrifice your first born or your people will starve.’  Thinking she makes an empty bargain, the queen agrees to the stranger’s terms and prosperity is returned to her people. All her prayers are answered, including her wish for a child… –

rumplestiltskin

Like many people, I enjoy an old favorite told in a new way.  Unlike the traditional tale illustrated above, my Rumplestiltskin tale depicts a powerful heroine, who’s as likely to beguile her enemies as be beguiled herself. So pop on over to Alfie Dog Fiction to check out this, along with my other children’s short stories. Click here to get to a great story, at a price both little and big pockets can afford.

Thanks and enjoy,

Iris

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For My Brother, Tony – his last moments

My darling brother

My darling brother

I haven’t written here in a long while. Tragedy has stalked my family of late. A few months back I shared the passing of my mother, Joyce Molyneux. Now, sadly, at only 57, my brother Tony follows her into heaven. After three and a half years of fighting cancer, he finally succumbed to the terrible disease last week. Services are today, as I write in fact. Regrettably, I cannot return to England to be with him as the flames take him on his final journey. And as I can’t be with the ones I love, I would like to share the poem I wrote for his wife, Shirley, on the day of his passing.

LIGHT AND DARKNESS

The light fades to darkness, and the day ends.
Draw the curtains and close your eyes, for the time for sleep has come.
The night must have its hour; allow it to envelop you,
Let it take you where it will, for you must go there. You have no choice.

But as you sleep, dream of the sunshine, for that is where Tony lived,
He loved you in the one way he knew how,
Fully and completely, savoring each moment like a fine wine,
Withholding nothing; defending all, being true to himself, and those he cherished.

His life with yours entwined, and your love yielded rich fruit,
More love, more laughter, more life.
A fighter – who saw the darkness on the horizon, and yet held onto the day,
Gutsy to the end, never throwing in the towel – two fingers raised high to the fates.

Your nights feel empty now, your heart – a dull stone.
You would shut out the day time and sleep away your pain.
This will pass. Memories of lighter days will kiss the shadows,
He’s inside you now, his soul maybe sleeping, but he’s part of who you are.

Tonight your sorrow may cloak the joy you shared,
But nothing can take this from you.
For you were loved.
And you had light.

 

Its a special someone, who lives to love others.

Its a special someone, who lives to love others.

Iris Woodbury 7/9/13

Stories Produced With Alfie Dog

Bridge

http://alfiedog.com/products-page/iris-woodbury/

Check me out at Alfie Dog Fiction. They’ve published three of my shorts, and carry lots of stories by amazing writers.

The scene above was sent to me by my niece, Kelly. She just visited Devon with my sister Jan, and my other lovely niece, Gems – and this piccie was taken on their travels. I wish I could’ve been with them, sounds like they had a wonderful time.

Christmas is just around the corner but the best present you ever get is the gift of family. I love mine, and give thanks for them every day, not just on the 25th. If you guys are reading this, I love you all.